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The Joke's on Hobgoblin!


*The Hobgoblin chases The Joker down the street, firing a volley of missiles as he moves. The Missiles miss the Clown Prince of Crime, destroying buildings and vehicles in the process. The Joker outsmarts the Goblin by scaling a fire escape towards the rooftop. As he reaches the top, The Hobgoblin throws a series of pumpkin bombs attempting to halt the Joker.*

Joker:
Pumpkin bombs? That sounds like something I would come up with!

Hobgoblin:
Why won't you die!!?

Joker:
Because I'm well loved you stupid tit in a hood! You're doing a very good job at stopping me. *Brandishes his extended barrel revolver once more.* Allow me to show you how I'd take care of it!

*The Hobgoblin darts to the side, as the bullet grazes the left wing. In retaliation, he opens both barrels and fires a barrage of bullets. The Joker struggles to dodge them.*

Hobgoblin:
You know this would have ended sooner if you did what I asked!

Joker:
Because we wouldn't be having this game. 

Hobgoblin:
True. I do love watching you squirm. Once I retrieve the case, I won't hesitate to rip you apart. Your days are numbered.

Joker:
Wow such a turn on! Hahahahaha! Try it you ugly adopted garden gnome! Lets see what you got!

Hobgoblin:
*Smiles* Of course.

*Suddenly, The Joker dives as The Hobgoblin whizzes over him. He looks up and smiles as his foe activates his Gliders front concealed blades. The blades extend outward. The Hobgoblin prepares for another attack run.*

Hobgoblin:
When I'm through with you, you'll be a Clown on a Skewer!

Joker:
Well that's not suitable. I have too many calories! *Takes aim and fires.* 

*The Hobgoblin dives straight for The Joker avoiding the oncoming gun fire. However, The Joker plans his next move carefully. He waits until the last second. He vaults over The Hobgoblin and plants his fist into the side of his face. The Hobgoblin quickly recovers as he veers around for another pass.*

Hobgoblin:
That's how it's going to be? So be it. You'll die soon anyway. *Opens fire once again.* 

*This time, the roof top buckles from the gunfire. The structure has weakened from the multiple Pumpkin Bomb explosions.*

Joker:
*Sees the roof cave in.* No fair! 

*The Joker sprints to the side of the building. He launches himself downwards to the neighboring rooftop. The Hobgoblin Swings around and descends. He wants to take the game to the next level.*

Joker:
It's not fair! I want one of those! I always proffered a good old fashioned dog fight!

Hobgoblin:
Exhilarating isn't it! I'm up here with all the fire power that I need to dispose of you. Of course there is still a chance if you hand over the case.

Joker:
*Rubs his eyes* My god you are dumb. I called baggsies on this! As for your glider. *pulls out a hidden blade.* You could do without it!

*The Joker throws the small, razor sharp blade. The Hobgoblin is too late to move out of the way. The blade penetrates the Glider's motor circuits, severing them.*

Hobgoblin:
*Struggling to maintain control* No! what have you done! I can't control it!

Joker:
Good, maybe you'll swallow those words and fight like a man. Ah Joker, you should have run for president. I wonder what happened to Joker TV?

Hobgoblin:
Oh this isn't over yet!

Joker:
Clearly.

*The Hobgoblin eventually manages to land the glider. He leaps off and charges towards The Joker. The Joker makes the first move, planting his fist into the Hobgoblins chest. The Hobgoblin reacts by grabbing The Jokers arm and flings him across the roof top.*

Hobgoblin:
As you'll see. I am much stronger and aggressive. Goblins do not belong on the ground!

Joker:
*wipes the blood from his mouth* Oh boo hoo. Welcome to my world.

*The Hobgoblin jumps and performs a series of kicks to The Joker's ribs and knee caps. The clown deflects the third blow with block using his wrists. He grabs The Hobgoblin by the throat and slams him into the ground followed but a series of punches to the face. The Hobgoblin kicks the clown off of him followed on with a punch to the jaw. The Joker skids across the rooftop with blood gushing our of his nose.*

Joker:
Seems I've underestimated you. Hehehe. *Looks up as The Hobgoblin towers over him* Your even more challenging that The Batman.

Hobgoblin:
I underestimated you too. I admire your sense of humor as you laugh at the man who kills you right here!

Joker:
Tell me! What would you do if you were able to retrieve the case from me?

Hobgoblin:
I'd return it to it's rightful place. There's a big payoff in it for me. I'll be able to live in the fast lane, drinking cold beer while I watch them bury your lifeless corpse. I will bask in the success of your extermination. *Grabs the Joker by the neck and begins to choke him.* All I need to do is look into your eyes as you die. Hahahahahahahaha!!

Joker:
Hehehe....Ack!!...YoU....FoRgOt....OnE...Ack!!....ThInG! *Raises his arm* ThE PuNcHlInE!

*The Joker presses on a secret trigger with his index finger. a plume of green gas flows from a tiny cuff link nozzle. The Hobgoblin inhales the toxin through his nose and begins to feel dizzy.*

Hobgoblin:
What?...What's happening to me? What did....What did you do?

Joker:
Ah that my garden gnome friend, is my ace in the hole. You've just been served a little taster of Uncle Joker's Paralyzing spray. One doze will turn your innards into rubberized plastic. Considered yourself. Jokerized! HoooHahahahahahaha!!

Hobgoblin:
*Seizes up* NO...NoOoO!

*Recovering, The Joker picks up the case and heads down towards street level. After struggling to climb down the fire escape, he makes it into the alley way when suddenly, he is punched yet again into the side of a skip. Spider-Man emerges from the shadows.*

Spider-Man:
Well I should say thanks for doing my job for me, but sadly I have to repeat the process. Hand over the case, Mr Jolly.

Joker:
Ah it's the kid who think he's a bug. How's that coming along? Caught any flies yet?

Spider-Man:
Funny you should mention that. I just caught a huge whopper of a fly. One with a huge smile on his face.

Joker:
You're so good with poetry. Sadly I don't have the time. I have a place to catch.

*Spider-Man's Spider sense burns the base of his skull when The Joker smothers him in a cloud of Joker Gas. He is too late to react as he inhales the toxins through his sinuses. He collapses to the floor choking on the fumes. The Joker escapes once again.*

Spider-Man:
*Thinking* My pulse is....racing. I can't see. I can't breathe. My chest feels like it's been hit with a wrecking ball. I was too late to hold my breath....Spider Sense is going crazy.....I don't know what to do.....Eye sights fading....I think I'm going too..... I feel like laughing!

*The Batman arrives on the scene when he witnesses the wall crawler acting strangely.*

Batman:
Spider-Man. Are you alright? 

Spider-Man:
I don't know...hehehe....Something is wrong....hehehaha......The Joker....he was....hahaha...he was here.....hahahahahaha....why can't I stop laughing!...hahahaha!!

Batman:
Oh no! *watches in horror as Spider-Man collapses to the ground in a fit of laughter.* Joker!

Spider-Man:
*Laughs uncontrollably.* Hahahahahahahahahaha. what's happening? Hahahahahahahahaaaaa!

Batman:
I've got to get you out of here. *Hits the hidden transmitter in his cowl* Alfred. I need you to program the Bat-wing to come and get me. I'm sending you my location.

Alfred:
*over the radio.* Are we leaving then sir?

Batman:
Yes. We have a casualty. Spider-Man has been subjected to the Joker Toxin. I can't treat him here. I've got to get him to The Bat Cave at once!

Alfred:
*over the radio* Sir. Are you sure that's wise? I know you do these things out of the kindness of your heart, but That S.H.I.E.L.D outfit my see this differently.

Batman:
That doesn't matter. We need to go to Gotham right now. If they choose to intercept me then so be it. I'll do whatever it takes to save this kid's life. Even if means aggression. 

Alfred:
*over the radio* Very well but what about the Joker?

Batman:
If my guess is correct he'll be heading back to Gotham himself. Only we'll be faster and that'll give us some time. I'm sending you my location now.

Alfred:
*over the radio* I'll get right on it sir. It'll be with you shortly.

*As Alfred breaks the transmission, Batman picks up the now unconscious  Spider-Man and slumps him over his shoulder. He checks his vitals. This incident immediately sparks flashbacks to Jason Todd's death. The night that Robin died.*

Batman:
Try and fight this. I won't let you die.


Next Issue - The Race for Life.






















Holy Cow! It's a Batman Spider-Man poster! by stick-man-11
Holy Cow! It's a Batman Spider-Man poster!
The best of both worlds with my edited suit manips. Marvel and DC should crossover more often.
Loading...
Chaos!

*The Joker arrives at the Oscorp weapons facility and quickly gets to work on the guards. He hops the fence, taking down the boarder patrol team. As he creeps around the grounds, he is spotted by a wave of Oscorp Security Guards.*

Guards:
It's him! Freeze!

Joker:
Aww it's nice to meet you too. Unfortunately I'm only here for one thing. Your toys.

*The guards open fire but the Joker leaps out of the way, firing his toxins at them. The guards struggle with the toxins. They all fall to the ground laughing uncontrollably until they all stop breathing. The Joker climbs over the mountain of now dead bodies, continuing towards the front entrance.*

Joker:
I failed to see what was so funny Gentlemen, but I'm glad you all had a change of heart. Keep on smiling. 

*He walks up to the main bulkhead door where he is immediately scanned by two security camera bots.*

Camera Bot:
Warning! Intruder Alert! Please state your name and ID fix code. 

Joker:
*Examines the door controls* Oh it's one of these state of the art Doodelythings. Well I have just thing. *Pulls out a long barreled revolver and blasts the door controls.

*The doors slide open revealing a labyrinth of metallic corridors. Joker makes his best guess and follows one of the corridors.*

Joker:
Well isn't this such a magical place. It kinda reminds of that David Bowie movie I watched once. *Starts to dance his way further into the complex* ♫ Jump magic, jump (jump magic, jump), Jump magic, jump (jump magic, jump), Put that magic jump on me, Slap that baby, make him free! ♫ Hahahahahahahaha!!!

*He then stumbles across a test flight suit designed for a woman pilot. The suit sits firmly on a woman shaped mannequin. It was something that the clown prince of crime couldn't resist vandalizing.*

Joker:
Hey sweetheart. Why the long face? Here let me show you The Joker's sweet embrace. *Carves a smile into the Mannequins head with a pocket knife.* There. B-E-AUTIFUL! Ah such the romantic. Hehehehehehe!

*However, The Joker is unaware that a small hidden camera is observing his every move. A few miles away, a shaded figure hovers over the area. He reviews the live camera feed on a portable video device.*

???:
I've got him now! When I'm through with him, he'll regret the day he was born! Hahahahaha!!!

*****
*Captain George Stacy heads across town towards the scene. He dodges the evening traffic when he receives a call over a private radio band.*

Captain Stacy:
I anticipated your call, Director Fury.

Nick Fury:
*Over the radio* Stand down Captain. This matter isn't your concern. Pull back and await further instructions.

George Stacy:
Letting the power of being about the law get to your head again. Don't be stupid. There's been reports of explosions and bodies. I'm going to check it out.

Nick Fury:
*Over the radio* Understood, I can't stop you, but it won't be me you'll be answering to. This is not a SHIELD matter. Not yet.

George Stacy:
Understood! 

*****

*As for The Joker, he arrives at a central chamber. He steps into an Hexagonal shaped room. He is surrounded by various classified projects. All he had to do was find the right door.*

Joker:
*Making a game out of it* Okay. Step right up folks! Because tonight The Joker is going to go home with one lucky prize! ding ding ding! Contestant, lets see what's behind door number One!

*He rips the door off it's hinges, revealing a small metal container. He removes it from it's protective canister and opens it up. The bright green glow of the Goblin serum shines in his eyes.*

Joker:
Yes! This has to be the most beautiful moment in my life, and with only 20 calories per tube! Hahahaha! I think I'll make a hasty dash to the exit before ol' Joker's dreams are smashed.

*Suddenly a shadowy figure appears up ahead. It slowly hovers upwards and drifts down the corridor. The Joker stands there a smiles at the mysterious figure.*

Joker:
Welcome. It seems I have company. 

???:
That case doesn't belong to you. Drop it or I will rip you into pieces.

Joker:
I bet you say that to all the clowns. Well sorry but I'm already taken and I must be leaving.

???:
I'll say again, the case doesn't belong to you.

Joker:
Well if you want it, you'll have to prize it from my cold dead hands!

???:
That can be arranged.

*Suddenly, the figure glides out from the shadows, revealing the menacing cowl of The Hobgoblin.*

Joker:
Love the get up, but I can't help but feel that it's copyrighted. 

Hobgoblin:
I wouldn't worry about that. I'll erase your face from existence, but first the case!

Joker:
*Sighs* Just what I wanted. Another professional Party Pooper. Like I haven't had enough of those. Who the hell are you? 

Hobgoblin:
I am The Hobgoblin. Remember my name, you'll be screaming it later when I cut you in two!!

*****

*Captain Stacy ignored Nick Fury's request as he arrives at the facility. He exits the vehicle, realizing that all is eerily quiet. As he is about to report it in, the ground shakes violently. He dives for cover when a huge explosion erupts from the upper levels of the facility. The Hobgoblin emerges from the smoke with the Joker firmly in his grip. However, The Joker frees himself, safety landing on the street.*

Joker:
It seems that you and I are not going to get along on this play date! 

Hobgoblin:
How do you figure? Maybe it's the fact that I'm going to kill you, my clown faced moron!

Joker:
You can try, but you have to catch me first. Tag your it!! *draws his revolver and fires.*

The Hobgoblin:
Okay we'll make a game of it. I was bored anyway! 

*The Joker continues to open fire as he takes off for the streets. The Hobgoblin gives chase. Unable to pursue, Stacy calls in for back up to seal off the area.*

Captain Stacy:
This is Stacy. We have an explosion at the Oscorp weapons facility in Tremont. All units get here at once! And put out an official warning. The Joker and The Hobgoblin are on the loose! *Mutters to himself* God damn it Fury, why couldn't you be here?


Next Issue - The Jokes on Hobgoblin 













Stop The Presses!


*The dull quiet hours of The Daily Bugle staff escalate when two photos turns up on the desk of Editor in chief, Joe 'Robbie' Robertson. The black and white photos show a clear pictures of  a brawling Joker and Spider-Man and the arrival of The Batman. He takes a few minutes to analyze them for their authenticity only to discover that they are real. With no time to waste, he rushes the photos to J. Jonah Jameson.*

Robbie:
Hey Jonah! We've got some actual evidence on the mysterious Joker sightings.

Jameson:
What!? Nonsense. Who sent them?

Robbie:
I'm not sure. It was sent in an envelope with an anonymous letter. Whoever took the photo was at the cafe that day.

Jameson:
And look who happens to be there. Spider-Man. No doubt that wall crawling weasel was in cahoots with the Joker but then was double crossed.

Robbie:
Are you for real Jonah?

Jameson:
These people double cross each other all the time. I can easily see the story in this one picture. Spider-Man and The Joker rob the cafe to make a quick buck when one of them turns on the other. The Batman then swoops in to steal the money instead. Robbie, this story is a winner and I want it on the front page by the evening edition. 

Robbie:
*Rubs his temples* Yeah sure. I'll have the boys work on a title for this. Who should we give the credit for? 

Jameson:
Well it sure doesn't go to that punk kid Parker! Just say it was from a CCTV hidden camera or something. It's about time this threat was exposed tot he fair people of this city. It's down to the Daily Bugle to do it!

*****

*Meanwhile, The Batman and Spider-Man head towards the Oscorp tower when they Nick Fury alerts them about a silent alarm. They eventually arrive at the security post where the two guards are found alive but unconscious.*

Spider-Man:
It looks like they didn't have the chance to react. Do you think they know what hit them?

Batman:
Unlikely. These men are alive but they have both received severe trauma to the head. If it was The Joker then he didn't he didn't want to be detected. 

Spider-Man:
Well there's only one direction he could go from here. Straight up. 

Batman:
Norman Osborn's office.

Spider-Man:
Bingo. I'll go and check it out. I don't think The Joker would hang around if he found what he was looking for.

Batman:
Agreed. I'll check the security cameras. He's bound to appear on the footage.

Spider-Man:
So did Spidey do good?

Batman:
Just go!

*****

*Spider-Man scales the side of the tower as he makes his way towards the penthouse office level. When he arrives, he notices that the windows are shattered and that the office is a mess.*

Spider-Man:
*Thinking* Oh he was here alright. Either that or it's Norman's time of the month again!

*As he perches, on the window sill. He observes Norman who is staring at shattered glass photo frame.*

Spider-Man:
What the hell happened here!?

Norman:
I suppose your here to finish the job.

Spider-Man:
Seriously? Norman what do you take me for? I don't kill, I share the love.

Norman:
Why are you here? Can't you see I have no time for you and your petty jokes!

Spider-Man:
I know the Joker was here. I also know that he's after your serum. Now correct me if I'm wrong but he scared you enough to make you hand it over to him. Only it's not here isn't it?

Norman:
I could never fool you. You're right. Of course usually I would deny it but it doesn't make difference this this time. He's already got what he's after. He'll doom us all with it. It's all my fault. It should have never been put on the company's servers.

Spider-Man:
Yeah yeah, "I'm a loser." "I'm to blame." "Give me all the attention." Look I'd love to sit and play counselor with you, but right now I need to know where he's gone.

Norman:
He's gone to the Oscorp facility bunker in Tremont. 

Spider-Man:
Tremont! The big menacing "it doesn't exist" one! 

Norman:
Yeah. If you and this Batman can stop him then things will change around here for the good.

Spider-Man:
What?

Norman:
That's right. I know you are working with The Batman of Gotham City. It's all over the news. Jameson's got you made.

Spider-Man:
Sure he has. Look thanks and well....stay out of trouble you hear? You were being a bit loud and clean this place up. What sort of company are you trying to run?

Norman:
*Watches as Spider-Man dives out of the window.* Very funny.

*****

*As Spider-Man returns to the main gate, Batman finishes the task of studying the tapes.*

Batman:
Did he talk?

Spider-Man:
He did. He practically blubbered like a baby.

Batman:
Where is he heading?

Spider-Man:
The Tremont Oscorp facility. It's a heavily guarded building. Like Fort Knox but with super duper tech instead of gold.

Batman:
Hopefully it'll be advanced enough that it'll keep Joker out, but I wouldn't get our hopes up.

Spider-Man:
Once again thanks for the positive pep talk. Don't ever advertise Orange Juice or something.

Batman:
*Ignores the quip* Tremont isn't far from here. I'll lead the way this time.

Spider-Man:
Sure if it'll make you feel better.

*The two head off towards the Tremont district unaware of the advanced technology that lay ahead of them.*

*****
*Meanwhile on the S.H.I.E.L.D helicarrier, Nick Fury and agent Natasha Romanoff detect a series of silent alarms coming from the Tremont district.*

Natasha:
There goes another one. It's the second one that has been tripped at the Oscorp weaponry facility. 

Nick Fury:
Seems we caught ourselves a clown. 

Natasha:
Shall I dispatch a team? Barton's been complaining about not seeing any action for some time now.

Nick Fury:
Negative. I kept my word to The Batman. Should shit begin to go down, we will not interfere.


Next Issue: Security Breach













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stick-man-11
Lee Homer
Artist | Hobbyist
United Kingdom
Hey I'm Lee and I live in the UK, South-east to be specific. I love digital art and other art types that evolve around many TV shows, movies and other fantasy stuff. I'm just improving on my own talent. I'm not great but I'm not terrible either.

I love to draw and I love to make photo-manipulations for my favorite things that keep me interested. When it's made, I'll share it with my amazing viewers :)

The proudest thing I have ever made is the creation of the Marvel Dynamic Universe and the adventures of The Dynamic Spider-Man...then I killed him off. That was even more fun.

Recently, I have become an amateur Photographer who's been studying it for a hobby but might eventually consider chasing a career out of it. Who knows I might just be that good at it

Current Residence: Chatham, Kent, South East England, UK
Favourite genre of music: Alternative Rock
Favourite style of art: comic book concept art
Operating System: Windows 7
MP3 player of choice: Phillips GoGear Vibe
Favourite cartoon character: Roger The Alien
Personal Quote: It isn't my fault that I'm original.
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:icongenchang2112:
genchang2112 Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for adding my "Battlestar and Vipers" to your collection. :)
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:iconstick-man-11:
stick-man-11 Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2015  Hobbyist
Your welcome :)
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:iconaerohybrid:
AeroHybrid Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2015
Happy Birthday mate ;)
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:iconstick-man-11:
stick-man-11 Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2015  Hobbyist
Thanks mate :)
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:iconaerohybrid:
AeroHybrid Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2015
you're welcome ;)
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:icondawn2nightfall:
Dawn2Nightfall Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy birthday! keep up the awesomeness!
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:iconstick-man-11:
stick-man-11 Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2015  Hobbyist
Thank you :) Sure thing
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:iconjimenopolix:
JIMENOPOLIX Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy Birthday!
:iconballoonplz::cake::party::iconballoonsplz::airborne::community:
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:iconstick-man-11:
stick-man-11 Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2015  Hobbyist
Thank you 
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:iconjimenopolix:
JIMENOPOLIX Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome.
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